This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize