Nicole vs. Life
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
