I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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