hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
