I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
