I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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