I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize