We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize