Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
