how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
