Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
