The maid of honor just puked.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
