I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
