So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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