Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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