I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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