Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
