My hand turned me down
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
