Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
