Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
