I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
