I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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