Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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