my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
