I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
