my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
