she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize