i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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