You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
