i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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