Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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