I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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