So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
