I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I fill condoms, not promises.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
