oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My feet surprised me
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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