So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
