I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
