She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
