I love black thongs
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
