My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
