I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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