All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
