I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
