Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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