just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
