Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
