It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
