Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
