I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Please, let me fuck your mom
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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