no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
