It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Damn victory sex feels great
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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