i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
