plz talk dirty to me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
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Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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