i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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