i always forget guys have bellybuttons
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
