Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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